I am currently preparing for something called a “Thesis Review Board” at UCF, and one of the things I am turning in for it is called an Artist’s Statement. This is a tool to help me remember why I am making films. I had a lot of fun writing it, and thought I would share it here:
“I do not make films because I enjoy the process. Filmmaking, for me, is akin to what I can imagine a woman experiences while giving birth. It is excruciatingly painful, it seems like it will never end, and I am usually yelling or crying throughout the event.
I make films because of the finished product. My past short films have proven to be the best therapy I could ever hope for. Castle Otttis, my first short documentary about the struggle between my religion and my sexuality is still to this day the thing that I go to immediately on YouTube when I am having a rough day. Not because of the content, necessarily, but because in my films I express the deepest part of who I am – which is so easy to forget. I suppose that is why women smile so deeply when they first behold their newborn creations. It represents the deepest, truest aspect of themselves.
And so, on to birthing my first feature documentary, an embarrassing, painful quest for something that most everyone believes is non-existent and foolish to look for. And yet, there is nothing else in the world I could be doing right now that would satisfy my intense yearning to find myself. When I finally give birth to this film next year, I want to be able to look at it and know that it represents the deepest, truest aspect of who I am.“
Hope you enjoyed! This is a snapshot of me taken by David Roberts on the day that Castle Otttis screened.
Haha, can you tell I was proud? Do you have an artist’s statement? What about a life statement? What drives you? Please comment!